April 3rd- My Birthday

Saturday was my birthday and what it was to me was a day that once again reminded me of my girls' passing. I went to bed Friday night and was not looking up to waking up Saturday morning, I thought it would be a day full of pain.

On Friday night I had a dream, like i have been having lately... weird weird dreams. This night I had a dream of a circle and a chunk of that was taken out. It symbolized the circle of life, except a huge chunk has been taken out of my life, my girls. It was no longer a circle, more like a Pac-Man figure. It is so weird these dreams I have. I know every dream means something, I just would like to know what they all mean. Some seem to have a clearer meaning than others...

Saturday morning I woke up to a nice smell, my favorite breakfast!! Biscuits and gravy and eggs! My hubby tried so hard to make the day less painful for me. I ate my breakfast and then we went to the cemetery. It was a gorgeous day. There was a green tent set up by the girls site, pulling in reminded me of our service for the girls, the green tent filled with chairs, and a little whole in the ground for their tiny little coffin. I felt sorrow for the family that would be sitting in that tent later on in the day.

It felt good going to see them first thing. I love and miss them so much.

After our visit, we went to the pool to hang out and relax while enjoying the gorgeous weather! Then I started to get ready for the night. My husband didnt tell me what we were doing, just that he had something planned.

A bunch of my girl friends came over, and I kept telling my hubby to get ready! Little did I know he had planned for a girls' night out.

The limo came around 8, and there were about 13 of us that all went out. I was a little nervous at first leaving Billy behind. He's who I lean on when I get upset. He reminded me that i was with my closest friends. My girlfriend Melissa made everyone party favors. They were so freaking cute! They were bright pink chocolate high heels! Everyone had a personalized one. For me she made me a high heel of course, and also a white chocolate Champagne glass, a milk chocolate ice bucket, with a white chocolate champagne bottle! It was so cool! She made us chocolate favors for my bachelorette party too, and they were soo yummy!

Billy had a big party for me at the house before the girls left for the night. He had dinner for everyone and my favorite cake, ICE CREAM CAKE! He also bought me Garnet earrings to go along with my ring. Garnet is the girls birthstone. He bought me a gift from Taylor and Riley, it was a picture of them on a canvas. It is beautiful! I cant wait to put it up in the house! And he got me a present from Joba and Diamond. He spoils me way too much!

I also got a pet duckling!! My friend, Fran, gave him too me. I named him Night Rider! He is black and the cutest thing ever. I felt bad for him though bc I had him on the porch and he just wanted to be with me the whole time. He would follow me in the house and he was fine when i was with him or holding him, but the second i left him alone he would chirp and wouldnt stop chirping! I felt so bad, he needs a big yard, with a lake and to be able to walk around... so I gave him to my mom, who wanted him. At her house she has property, a lake for him to swim in when he gets bigger, and my mom will be able to hang out with him a lot, unlike me whos always running around. Joba and Diamond loved him though!

so back to my limo... we all piled in and took off to go to diff places. WE had a lot of fun and it was nice to be with my girl friends! I actually enjoyed my night. My husband planned an awesome birthday for me, and it allowed me to let loose a little and take a break from everything.

He is the best husband in the world!