September 1, 2010

I am finally feeling more like myself and a lot of my discomfort has gone away, so thought I would now blog about my surgery and about what has gone on in the past 2 weeks!
 
On Monday, August 23rd, I had my cervical cerclage put in. For those of you who are unaware of what that is, it's a stitch the doctor has placed on my cervix to stitch it hope to HOPEFULLY prevent me from going into pre-term labor again. This was a HUGE deal for my husband and I bc this stitch is what is going to save my baby's life. Just wish they would have thought to put one in for my beautiful daughters :( . There is no guarantee that the stitch will hold to 37 weeks, but we are all very optimistic that it will! At 37 weeks, around February 8th, Dr P will remove the cerclage and at any time after that I will be ok to go in to labor. I've heard stories on what could possibly happen : 1. The stitch does not hold until 37 weeks, and I may have to have a 2nd cerclage put in, or if I am far enough along, i go in to labor 2. At 37 weeks, after the stitch is removed I go in to labor right away, or a few days later 3. because of all of the scar tissue that will be building around my cervix bc of the stitch, it is possible that I am unable to have a vaginal birth bc my cervix will not allow it, and the doctor will have to induce me and deliver via C-section. We are praying for scenario # 2!!
 
Ok, now on to "that" day... Monday morning I was a ball of nerves, literally. I have been full of nerves every week leading up to the cerclage, and on Monday it was even worse. I was nervous for baby #3 and was nervous to be back in the operating room- not too nervous about the actual procedure. Dr P chose to have me go to the outpatient hospital for the procedure. I am thinking he did this knowing how I was feeling about being back in the OR at Baby Place, the same OR that i delivered my Riley in.  Well, Billy and I pulled in to the hospital and after filling out the proper paperwork, we took a seat in the waiting room. A few minutes had gone by, maybe 30, and all of a sudden I heard a panicked voice coming from the lady sitting near us. She was leaning over her Husband, that was hunched over in his chair, screaming "Mike! Mike!". I looked over and saw that the man's joints were starting to lock up and he was having a seizure. His wife was in a panic. All of a sudden, he lifted his head and his pupils were HUGE and then he started making a screaming/moaning sound. I usually would help him, but being that we were in a hospital, and the nurses were there, and the fact that I was already EXTREMELY nervous about my procedure, I felt my chest start to tighten, I started to go in to a panic attack and started to tear up and we had to walk out. I felt so bad. How bad did that look that this poor man is in a full blown seizure and I had to walk out of the room. Well, at that point there was no way I would have been able to stay in that room, I was too shaken up. I felt so HORRIBLE for that man, and prayed that he would be ok. I soon found out that it seemed as if the man had a neurological disorder so that is what triggered his seizure, they all said he would be ok and he was sent to the ER.
 
Well, Billy and I went back inside, and then my name was called right away. They told me I had to go in ALONE!!!! I was freaking out! The nurse was very nice, and I had to change in to my gown and she had to start an IV. Of course by this point my tears were rolling. After I was all set, they allowed Billy and my parents to come in and wait with me. dr P came in and discussed everything with us. and I also met with the Anesthesiologist. We had decided to do a spinal. I did not want to be sedated.
 
Well wide awake they wheeled me, and me alone, in to the OR. Dr P was right there with me. As soon as I looked over at that tiny operating table, I lost it. I was a complete mess! They asked me to scoot on to the table from my bed and the entire time all i kept picturing was being in the OR with Riley, and the nurses having to pull me on to the operating table from my bed sheets. It was horrible being in there, wide awake, and without my husband. Dr P kept reminding me this is a whole new ball game. A whole new pregnancy, a differernt OR and COMPLETELY different circumstances. He tried his best to calm me down. After a lil while the Anesthesiologist started to prepare me for my spinal. I was so nervous, I HATE needles! Well he put one shot in, and i thought that was it... Wow was I wrong, that was just the numbing shot!! Then he put the Spinal in. I started to feel my feet tingle and get a lil heavy, but I was not a numb as they had hoped I would be. They started to prepare me, strap my legs up in the harnesses again, and i was really fidgity. It was mainly from my nerves. Time passed and I was just not settling down, and could still feel things, and the A kept asking if he could sedate me a bit. i kept refusing, but eventually, he asked again, and I said "Whatever Dr P wants me to do." he said that he thought that would be for the best. i asked a thousand questions on the effects it could possibly have on baby # 3, bc I was not going to do anything that would hurt my child, but he advised me that the baby would be fine, so I gave the ok, the A gave me the meds, and before I knew it i was passed out!
 
I woke up to at first nothing, but that was bc the meds were still in me! After a few minutes passed the pain started to sink in. Oh my did I have MAJOR cramping. The nurses, and doctors offered to give me pain meds, but I was already not happy about being sedated, and the pain meds were definately out of the question. I was not putting my child's well being at risk all for a bit of pain. I sucked it up. The doctor said I could take a lighter dose of pain meds, like Advil, but of course, I refused that too!
 
Billy and I got to leave a few hours later, and the pain had subsided a LITTLE. I was still in a lot of pain. We had decided to stay at the Vinoy, bc the doctor said it would not be good for me to use stairs right away, so we just went to the resort! Right away I climbed in to bed and did not want to get up. The pain hurt no matter what position I laid in, but was worse when i was sitting/standing so laying was my only option. Just as I would start to feel better, and the cramping would slow down, of course I would have to go to the restroom. Then every time I got up to do that, the pain/cramping/discomfort would come back! It was a lose/lose situation... get up and hurt, or stay in bed and hold it and potentially get a bladder infection.
 
Well each day got a lil better. Tuesday I was still real crampy/sore and Wednesday too. Thursday came, and I started to feel a bit better and would only cramp every now and then, Friday the same, and then Saturday was a bit better. This has been off and on since the surgery. Thankfully the cramping has gone away, but still discomfort. Especially if I stand or sit too long. That puts extra pressure on my cervix so makes it even more sore. I pretty much have gone to work this week, and then gone straight home to lay down and not get up!!
 
Monday, August 30th, was 7 months since my angels entered this world. I was achy, sore, it was my first day back at work, and was VERY emotional for me. I just could not stop crying. I just wish my babies could have been saved. This is the worst pain I have ever had to deal with. Losing a child I would not wish upon anyone, even my worst enemy. As mentioned before though, I have sought a lot of comfort in speaking to my mom friends that have also experienced a loss. They were all there for me too after my surgery. I got e-mails and texts from each of them! I had an awesome support system during my recovery. It was just a VERY extremely emotional ride for me... and not only me, but for my husband too!!
 
The discomfort still comes and goes and the doctor said it will prob last for 3-4 WEEKS!!! crazy, but all worth it in the end!
 
After all that happened on Monday, Billy and I were just very nervous for baby # 3. We just wanted to make sure he/she was healthy. Well finally Tuesday, August 31st, had come and it was time for our cerclage check-up! We went in to the U/S room and the second the sonographer put the thing on my tummy, our beautiful baby pooped up on the screen and was very active! Our minds were at ease!! I asked about the heart and what not, and when could they tell how he/she was doing anatomy wise. We were told prob not til about 16-18 weeks, but she did look at the heart and could tell that our lil one had 4 healthy chambers!! dr P walked in and his first words were, Wow! Look at that profile, thats one cute baby! Of course he/she is!! Taylor and Riley were absolutely gorgeous and we know # 3 will be just as perfect!
 
We asked when can we find out the sex. The sonographer started to toy around and man o man 3 was not shy at all! Legs were spread wide open. DrP said he does not like making assumptions/guesses that early on, i am 14 weeks, but it was quite obvious we are having a baby BOY!!!! The sonographer said, "If its not a boy, then I have no idea what that is!!" and then the doctor explained that girls can sometimes be swollen, and it may look like a boy at that time, but once the baby gets bigger, the swelling goes down. Our sonographer agreed, but then said, "yeah thats true, but its not usually that big!" LOL. So we are pretty positive we are having a baby boy! 2 beautiful baby girls and now a handsome baby boy! we are beyond excited! Of course, we werent very biased as to the sex of this lil one, all we were/are praying for is full term and healthy!
 
If in fact 3 is a boy, his name will be Charles William Young III --after his grandpa and dad! And his nickname will be Three!! because he will be the 3rd CWY and our 3rd child! We are very excited!! Grandpa Abreu is already planning his baseball career, and Billys already been searching for yankees clothes! LOL.