November 12, 2010

New Update!! FINALLY!!
 
I'll begin my update on Baby Billy aka 3!!
 
Billy and I have continued to go to our weekly doctor appointments and so far everything is looking good! I have been having quite the discomfort lately in my pelvic area, but my doctor said its just because everything is changing and my ligaments are stretching. Needless to say it HURTS!! and now I waddle like a duck when i walk bc it hurts!
 
We are still certain its a boy!! we get "the shot" every time we do an ultrasound. A few weeks ago the only pictures the sonographer gave us was one of his foot (So freaking cute) and one of his "boyness". haha.
 
I went to the doctor on Wednesday 11/10 and they took his measurements. My baby boy is weighing in at 1 pound 9 ounces! Billy and I had a bet going while we were waiting to see the doctor. His first guess was 2 pounds and his second was over 1pound 5 ounces. My guess was way lower, I was thinking he'd weigh about 1 pound 2-3ounces. Well, I was off!! I was thinking about Taylor and Riley. Taylor was 1 pound at almost 22 weeks and Riley was 12 ounces. So i just figured 3 was 2 weeks further than that so he would be measuring close to my girls measurements... guess daddy was closer!
 
The previous 2 weeks I was gaining about 3 pounds a WEEK!!! I thought that was quite a bit, but my doctor assured me it was normal and I was on target for my final weight gain, about 35 pounds. Well, this week I weighed a pound less. I was a little taken back that i gained 3 pounds 2 weeks in a row and then all of a sudden I lost a pound?! Oh well, Dr P still said it was fine. Ive gained about 15lbs total so far. My tummy sure is growing!
 
I have been such a slacker in posting pictures, so I will have to get on top of that soon!
 
At this weeks appointment the sonographer got an awesome side profile shot of 3! He is absolutely STUNNING! you can see his littles lips, ears, chin, nose, etc! I cant wait for February/ March to meet him!
 
3 is one VERY active little guy! I absolutely love feeling him moving around in there! There are times when i guess all of his moving could get a little bothersome, like when i am sleeping and he wakes me up, but for me I absolutely enjoy every single minute of it! I can tell I will have my hands full come March, but i am ready for it!!
 
He is so cute, I am not sure if it is him being jealous, or if it is him just wanting to say hi to his cousins... but everytime I hold or feed Luke, Evan or Trace my little guy starts moving a lot!! It is so funny!
 
In the past couple of days I have been able to start seeing my tummy jump when he moves. At times he will make large movements and my entire stomache will go up and down!
 
Billy and I are still on edge, and every doctor appointment we walk in a little tense, but thankfully have left extremely happy. I can honestly say that as each week goes by, I start to become a little more confident in knowing everything will be ok for our son, but I think my husband is still a little more nervous/cautious. If I take too long going to the restroom, or if i take too long getting my weight and blood pressure at the doctors office, or if I jump bc my lil guys movements catch me off guard, or if I make a weird face, or if I yell down to him from upstairs... all of these things, plus many other, have Billy in a panic. I wish there was some way to ensure my husband his son will be healthy and full term, but then again there is no way I can ensure myself that. I just know that we are doing all we can to ensure our sons health, and we are trying to remain optimistic about things. 
 
On another note, Billy and I have been working on 3's nursery lately. That has been bittersweet. It's nice and fun doing this for our son, and its fun to decorate and see that we are making progress, but it is also very hard thinking about our girls. We had the bottom portion of the walls repainted by someone else, it would have been too hard to paint over the pretty pink stripes that were meant for our daughters to see. But, of course, we could not leave our son's nursery pink.
 
These past few weeks have been a little difficult for us. We have definately had our moments. We are so happy to have surpassed our 22 week milestone, and we are looking forward to at least 13 more weeks with him being in my tummy!!
 
Have you heard that song, "Anything Like Me" from Brad Paisley?
The Lyrics are:

I remember saying I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "You see that thing right there well you know what that means"

And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me
He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride hes bike to fast
End up every summer wearing something in a cast
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street
He's gonna get in trouble oh he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass trying to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me

He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skipping class and be grounded for a week
He's gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

He's gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day
He's gonna hug his momma, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he cant wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me there's worse folks to be like
Aw he'll be alright if he's anything like me
 
Well that has been a happy song for Billy and I. The first set of lyrics absolutely hits home... "I remember saying I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok..."- That is exactly how we felt/feel and now Billy will have a little mini me in a few months! I guess its our song for 3!
 
I was riding in the car the other day and a song came on the radio... and i do really like the song, "If I die Young" by The Band Perry, but for some reason it hit me today on the way to work. The verse, "Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother - She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby..."
 
Man oh man did i start crying. I cant tell you how many times i have heard that song on the radio, and how many times i have sung the lyrics, but for some reason this morning I sat quiet and actually listened to the lyrics and that verse just hit too close to home-- Im actually tearing up now just thinking about it.
 
I havent been too festive this holiday season, and I know i probably should be... as I usually am, but its just gloomy for me. Billy has stated this Thanksgiving and Christmas he doesnt want to do anything but be left alone. Its just really hard knowing that our daughters should be here for their first holidays with us, and now we just have an empty home full of their pictures. Pictures, just pictures, not our daughters...We will see how it goes these next few months, but we are looking forward to a new year, 2011 and the birth of our baby boy.
 
Yes, I am still sleeping with my girls toys-- think that I will probably do this forever. It brings me closer to them in some way when i lay down at night. I take them with me wherever I stay.
 
This year I have met some amazing people and amazing moms that unfortunately the bond we share is the loss of our child/children. I am so thankful to have them all in my life. They have helped me through this journey as well. Today i ask you pray for baby Abby, she would have been 1 yr old today. Happy Angel-versary Baby Abby. I also ask that you pray for all of the families out there that have experienced the loss of a child. Whether it be a newborn or an adult, losing a child is extremely painful, it doesnt matter what age they are.
 
The time has flown by so fast... I cannot believe I am 6 months pregnant--- and further I cannot believe it has been 9.5 months since the birth/death of my daughters.
 
On another note, remember me mentioning about medical bills for Taylor and Riley a while back? and how each girl was billed over $3K for "services rendered"-- well, that has been taken care of after numerous calls to the billing department and having them look into what exactly we were charged for. It stinks having to argue over something like this and makes it even harder to bring up those memories, I wish these billing departments would stop trying to take advantage of people and would actually send correct bills!!
 
Ill try to keep up regular updates, I know my cousin Anna for one would love me too!!! I will also try and upload baby, baby bump, and nursery pictures soon!!!